Trying to live life with sandy toes and laughter
We did this song as a winter guard show quite a while back. Good advice. It was a good show too – Here’s the song…
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now….
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
Very wise, I liked it, all true.
Strange, just herd that on the radio…and have the CD in my car.
And another one…”Ladies and gentleman of the class of ’98people often ask me if I have any advice to offerand when they do, I tell them this:If you’re unsure about what you’re going to do with your lifetry to remember some of the most interesting people didn’t know whattheywere going to do at age 22 or even at 40, and nearly all of them areunemployed drug addicts forced to live on cat food.Also understand that friends will come and go – this is because of yourirritating personality – nobody likes you. So if the only thing gettingyouthrough the day is the misconception that people like you – end it now.(gunshot)Learn how to smoke Winnie blues. If you’re underaged, get an older kid tobuy them for you. Get to really know your parents – they’re good formoney.Milk them, then put them in an old people’s home. Travel as often as youcan. Live in New York City once. Live in northern California once. Neverlive in Adelaide – it’s a hole.Maybe you’ll marry. Maybe you won’t.Maybe you’ll have children. Maybe you won’t. If you do have children,lockthem under the stairs.Do one thing each day that scares you. Sing. Dance. Jump in front of acar.Do not trust anyone who tries to update Shakespeare for the kids. Andifyou see Quindon Tarver in the street – punch him in the face for me…Brother and sister, we can be free.(punching-sound-effect, feedback)If you’re worried about the way you look, try to remember you’reprobablyfatter than you think. Maybe you should consider an eating disorder.Don’tworry too much about the future. If you’re nervous about an exam, ringupyour school at the scheduled time and make a bomb threat. If you’re agirl,lie about period pains to get out of anything that you don’t want todo. Cheat if you think you can get away with it. Remember, someone withricher parents is getting private tuition.Shoplift as often as you can. Shopping centres factor shop lifting intotheir prices so if you don’t do it, it’s like they’re getting money forfree. When you’re on work experience, steal a cabcharge and take a taxitoPerth. Wear sunscreen, but only if its that coconut oil that gives youcancer. Keep your old love letters. If you see an old lover in thestreet,try to run them over in your car. Don’t mess too much with your hair,otherwise by the time you’re 35, you’ll look like Greg Matthews.Rememberyou can wear your underwear 4 times without washing: forwards,backwards,inside out forwards, inside out backwards.Brother and sister we can be free-ee-ee,Brother and sister, we can belieeeeve, we can belie-(multiple gunshots)Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres. It’s afreecountry. It’s public space. Skateboard on war memorials. Smoke in yourschool uniform. Set off car alarms. Plant drugs on a teacher. Join acult.Spike drinks. Don’t flush public toilets. Remember, only you will onlytruly take care of you – so carry a concealed weapon. Don’t wear your Pplates. Walk around with your eyelids rolled back. Touch you tongue onthetip of batteries. Be open to new love. Remember, you can’t get pregnantthe first time you have sex. Expect others to support you. It’s easy togetthe dole – and still do cash in hand work. Respect your elders. Whenyourgrandma dies have her stuffed. Be kind to your knees. You’ll missthemwhen you’re kneecapped by a lone shark. Get revenge. Don’t forgiveanyonefor anything. But most of all, don’t aim too high – You’re probably onlysuited to an office or factory job.And trust me on the Winnie blues”-source